So... My Dog is Pretty Much WINNING!!

As I'm writing this blog right now, my dog Jack is sleeping quietly at my feet. He is tuckered out because he was being bad yesertday, so I put him in the backyard and forgot about him. Today he was jonesing to go back outside so I said fine and put him in the yard again only to find out that he and my neighbors dog have been trying to escape through our fence. Both dogs have been pushing at our decaying wood fence in the back and managed to break two slats enough that when I happened to look out the window in the kitchen, Jack was barking wildy with excitement, and there was half a poodle coming into my yard....through the fence!! I had no idea what to do so I promptly brought Jack inside and watched out the window as the stuck poodle tried valiantly to get back to his own yard, checking every once and awhile to make sure Jack wasn't out and ready to play!!! Once Jack was inside and the frenzy was over he quickly layed down and fell into what I can hope was a good dream. He started kicking and pawing his little sleepy feet and I thought he was going to get up to a run in his coma like doggy dream. But no, my awesome dog did just what I would expect any retarded dreamer to do. He farted...and was so scared by the sound he woke up from a dead sleep and gave a look so terrifying that I swear you could hear the cries of Charlie Sheen's children as they watch their dad try to make a salad. Then, suddenly becoming aware that there was no need for alarm he promptly sat back down and returned back to his dreamlike state. And that is why my dog is pretty muchg WINNING!!